


To a Darkening Sky

by MirabileLectu



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-09-22 07:28:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9591779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MirabileLectu/pseuds/MirabileLectu
Summary: As the world cracks and breaks around them, Kima and Allura spend a weary evening fighting back the darkness.





	

It took Kima fifteen seconds to come from sleep into consciousness, five seconds to blink the tiredness from her eyes, and precisely two more to realize that something was wrong.

Not wrong in the usual way, which could almost forgive the appalling slowness of her reflexes (almost). This was not the kind of wrong when she was jolted awake by the sound of screaming, or came to with some beast’s teeth already biting into her flesh. No, this was the sort of thing that filled a quiet and darkened bedroom with its unspoken presence, made known only by labored breathing and the movement a bed made when someone collapsed into sitting because they couldn’t stand any longer.

Rubbing her eyes hard enough to see stars made the darkness recede a bit as Kima sat up and peered down the bed. It didn’t help much, but it was just enough to make out the dim outline of someone sitting on the edge of the bed, head in hands, and ever so gently shaking.

“Allie?”

Her voice was small in the swallowing darkness, but Allura still jumped as though she had been stung. She sat up straight enough to mimic her normal composure, tucking disheveled blonde hair back into place as best she could manage with unsteady hands.

“Oh Kima, I’m so sorry, I didn’t want to wake you. I’ll be in bed in just a moment.”

That was more than enough to chase away even the memory of sleep from Kima’s worried mind. Allura’s voice wasn’t supposed to tremble like that, not the Allura that Kima knew. And she was certainly not the kind of person to hide what she was feeling with the people that mattered – with the council, certainly, in matters of politics and intrigue she could dissemble with the best of them. But not here, in this private place they shared. Not with Kima.

“Allie, what’s wrong? And don’t you dare tell me nothing.”

There was a brief pause when Kima could see the outline of Allura’s head turning to face her, before her form crumpled on itself once more.

“I’m just…I’m just so tired Kima. I don’t know if I can keep going.”

Kima was up in a flash, scrambling out from under heavy blankets to crawl across the bed and throw her arms around Allura. She received the hug gratefully, melting into Kima’s arms as though she could simply not stay upright any longer. Planting herself in a solid kneeling position, Kima, could not help but notice as she bore the weight of Allura’s exhaustion that she seemed…lighter somehow. More insubstantial, although that was never a word she would have used to describe the most vibrant woman she had ever met until just this moment.

_She’s working herself to death on that damn shield_ , Kima thought, anger kindling inside of her. _They’re asking the impossible, and Allie will kill herself trying to give it to them._

“Here, why don’t you just lay down,” Kima said, shifting back to sit on her feet so that Allura could slump down and rest her head in her lap. “There, that’s better. Just try and breathe, I can feel you shaking like a leaf.”

They sat together in silence for several long moments, Allura with her eyes closed, Kima running her fingers through long blonde hair to pull out the tangles and matching her breathing with deliberate slowness. It was an old battle trick she’d used more than once to calm down new recruits overwhelmed with the frenzy and fright of it all, and even though this wasn’t quite the usual time for it, it worked here in a pinch too. Eventually Allura’s breathing was something closer to normal, and Kima could tell that she was edging into sleep where she lay.

“You can’t keep going like this, Allie,” Kima murmured, bending down to kiss the top of her head. “I know you want to help, but you’re no good to anyone burned out or…”

Allura’s lashes fluttered, eyes of bright blue moving up to meet Kima’s own. They were wearier than Kima had seen them in many years, sunken and lined with too many sleepless nights and more worry than any one person should have to bear. Kima’s heart ached to see her this way, even more so knowing that there was precisely nothing she could do to fix it. She was a paladin, damn it all, what was the point of her if she couldn’t just swing her sword and make the problem go away?

“I have to Kima, you know I do,” Allura said with quiet resignation. “The shield is the only thing keeping Whitestone safe, and I couldn’t live with myself if something happened.”

_Again._ It hung between them, unspoken and painful. And that was it, wasn’t it? Why Allura was working herself into nothingness, why Kima was waiting to throw herself into some unwinnable battle, all to make amends for what they had left unfinished. How they had failed.

But it would be a cold day in the nine hells before Kima ever backed down that easily. “I know it’s important, but isn’t there some way for you to, I don’t know, share the burden? Bring someone else in to help, or enchant something with extra power, or something? Just so you can take a break?”

“There’s no one,” Allura said, shaking her head and sighing sadly. “It’s just Shaun, Eskil and I who can maintain the magic, there’s no one else left. And I’m not sure about Eskil, but I know Shaun is just as worn out as I am, even though he might not show it. This is the only option.”

With a sigh of resignation, Kima wiggled herself out from under Allura’s head so that she could lay down next to her. She was right, of course, and Kima knew it, but what else could she do but look out for the woman she loved? Reaching out, she pulled Allura in close, burying her face in her hair and running her calloused hands over the delicate skin on the back of her neck. She had always fancied that she could feel the magic there under her skin, brimming and bubbling with life and waiting to be released. It was a silly notion, but even now when Allura likely had no magic left in her Kima swore she could feel something still tingling there.

“I hate this,” she said, voice muffled. “Being stuck here, watching you work yourself to nothing, all while I sit and feel so…useless. Helpless.”

Allura pulled back sharply, glaring down at Kima with a frown.

“Lady Kima of Vord, Scale Bearer of the Platinum Dragon, that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth. Helpless? _You_? I know for a fact that if you ran into battle naked with nothing but a stone to throw you would still come out victorious. Self pity does no one any favors and I will not stand to hear it from you.”

Kima blinked, mouth hanging slightly open. _Did she just…_

“Naked? Really?”

Now it was Allura’s turn to stare, clearly taken aback by a response she was not expecting. Kima grinned.

“Because if me running into battle naked is something you’ve been thinking about, I mean, I think we could make it happen. We’ll get a stare or two but that’s never stopped us before.”

She was laughing before she finished speaking, the giggle turning into a snort as Allura gave her a gentle smack on the back of the head with a grin of her own. Playing the fool was not normally the route she chose, but if it was enough to get Allie smiling again it was worth it.

“You’re an ass, you know that? Some holy paladin of law and order you are.”

“Hey, I never said I was a good one.” She buried her face in Allura’s comforting warmth once more, breathing in the smell of safety and love. “And besides, that’s not what I meant. I wasn’t being self-pitying, or at least I wasn’t trying to. It’s just, well, it’s like you said - I’m a paladin, aren’t I? I fight for justice and protect the weak, except right now I’m _not._ I’m just sitting here on my hands waiting for the world to end and I can’t do a damn thing about it. It’s driving me mad.”

“Oh Kima.” Allura hugged her tight, putting every bit of strength into the embrace as she could muster. “I know it’s eating at you to stay here, but we both know it’s for the best. The others will be back any day now, and they’ll certainly need you when they do. They need every bit of help they can get.”

“I know,” Kima said with a sigh. “I just wish it felt like enough. Any of it.”

They lay together in the gently enveloping darkness for many long minutes, enjoying what comfort could be taken in quiet peace and a warm embrace. Life would continue tonight, and into tomorrow, and for as many days and weeks as they could scrape together in a world on the brink of ruin. And where life continued, joy could be found, and created, and cherished.

And together, in the dark and the tranquility of the home they shared, they would create every bit of joy they could.

 


End file.
